Anticlimax

by Blackjaw

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02:32
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02:00
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01:45
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02:14
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02:42

credits

released May 7, 2017

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Blackjaw Brazil

Blackjaw is a punk rock band formed in 2009, influenced by 80/90's artists.

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Track Name: Reverie (feat. Karen Dió)
"There are many things we'll never know
But that's just the way the river flows
You're a part of me that must sink in these turbid waters
to disappear silently"

It's just an illusion
You are wandering through my fantasies
Affectionately massaging my flesh
I'm safer here, but it's going too fast.

I'm not giving up, but I guess that's the point of no return
This goddamn place is always cold
The fallacy suggests that there's an exit.

I think I have everything under control
You prove me wrong
When I see you dancing somewhere in the deserts of my mind
I have to fight it all the time.

I'd like to skip this moment
And the pain you'll have to face when it come true
I thank you for believing in me
But we are not as special as we hoped.

I never thought I'd die alone
But tonight, that was my ambition
It's getting clearer in my head
And it's much more tragic than fiction.

I think I have everything under control
You prove me wrong
When I see you dancing somewhere in the deserts of my mind
I have to fight it all the time.

I have to fight it all the time
But the water is getting higher
My lungs are drenched in affliction
I just want this to end
I just want this to end.
Track Name: Time To Unlearn
I've always been taught that I shouldn't be fighting
The consensus that I am a contemptible and nasty enemy
My life is a constant torment
When my mind and body cry for help
I have no one else to turn to
And no miracles to save me
Can you understand?

You don’t have the slightest idea!
Unless you feel like all hope is gone
And you're on your own
I'm dying in vain, and it feels so wrong.

I've always been forced to live in hiding
Sacrificing what's in my heart for the sake of this nefarious world
I must repudiate myself, accept the hatred and not question why,
be ridiculed and insulted every day
Covertly and explicitly
And resign myself to this abusive condition
That's what you expect, but that's not what you'll get!
You don't know what I need
Love is not out of reach.
Track Name: Only Happy When It Hurts
When my head aches
And the only thing I can think about is dying
Pondering doesn't make any sense
How I wish you to know the implicit messages in your apparently harmless actions.

Or maybe you actually know how damaging your behavior is
And you just let someone else pay the price for your delight
This must be some kind of sadistic game.

Everything is easier when you are in a privileged position
You can safely expose your prejudices
Since no one ever confronts you, I know you won't stop.

I'm pretty sure I'm not taking it so seriously
I just can't stand you discouraging me
Even words can hurt and kill.

And suffering is often invisible
Especially when you are not willing to see it
How funny is disenchantment?
Track Name: Find A Name That Perfectly Fits
I just can't handle what's held inside of me
Oh it hurts and cuts me like a knife
When all these demons are around caressing my pessimism
I need someone to remind me that the saddest chapters can be torn
Now my sanity is out of town
You know exactly what that means.

Then you ask me to come closer and lay my head on your bravery
Life is often so unkind that I can't keep my strength
But I'm sure this pain won't last forever
I'll find you in my memories every time fear scratches my heart
As long as I can feel you, I won't see the end.

I’ve never wanted to grow old watching lights go out
Maybe I'll be fine, maybe not
But I promise to show in different ways that I’m with you
Please just hold my hands tight
This may be the last time
And I won't let you down.

Then you ask me to come closer and lay my head on your bravery
Life is often so unkind that I can't keep my strength
But I'm sure this pain won't last forever
I'll find you in my memories every time fear scratches my heart
As long as I can feel you, I won't see the end.
Track Name: Drowning
I'm begging you
I know I'm just wasting my breath
But I'm begging you.

Despair is flooding every corner of this room
And even the subtlest sounds make my ears bleed
Can you count the bruises in my hands?
I'm letting go of what I held tight
I see bewildering images dancing in my head
I'm living without my main foundation
Your absence doesn't make any sense.

I can’t breathe now
Could someone save me from drowning?
I'm seeking and not finding an escape.

I dialogue with my memories all the time and you are always there
I'm still submerged in regrets
That's why I swallowed my hopes
Now I'm broken
And I don't know where I stand.

Despair is flooding every corner of this room

I'm begging you to save me from drowning
I'm begging you
But I'm alone.
Track Name: Off The Track
I dedicated a lot of myself
And I'm not waiting for something to happen
We're so different and I think we all knew it from the start
It's readily apparent that we took a dangerous turn.

Too much greed still lies inside you
But I'm not giving in to this lack of empathy
You try to turn feelings into trivia
But I know that in the end
Your selfish aspirations would not prevail.

Back in the days before callousness swallowed you whole
It seemed to be important not to be so coldly impersonal
You have learned nothing from all those worthwhile experiences
Your greatest opportunities were scorned.
You don’t know yet but you are dead!
And you’re still waiting
Pathetically waiting for some big prize.

Too much greed still lies inside you
But I'm not giving in to this lack of empathy
You try to turn feelings into trivia
But I know that in the end
Your selfish aspirations would not prevail.

And it's just because your heart is not in it!
Track Name: Fear The Dawn
I'm under the gun to make decisions and it happens constantly
I wonder if people around me will offer more than voices deafening me
I’m so sick of living this way
And I don't really mind if they seem unscathed
I'm not afraid of what they hide.

I look closer, it’s sad and awful
I have nowhere to run, I'll face the sun
Because I feel my skin burning even in the dark
The pain remains so close.

I would like to know how to act
When I feel the sunlight scratching my eyelids
Maybe it's just telling me that I shouldn't aim so high
My expectations are repelling who I love
When I need you the most
I find myself alone...

This is not the time for you to hear me
I don't wanna be the one who brings the bad news
It used to shine so bright, but it's fading
And the windows of my soul are closed and blurred
It's so hard to find reassurance when I'm hopeless.

I would like to know how to act
When I feel the sunlight scratching my eyelids
Maybe it's just telling me that I shouldn't aim so high
My expectations are repelling who I love
When I need you the most
I find myself alone...

What if you are not here in the end?
Track Name: Distance
When I see you whispering
Far from my eyes, so still and intimidated
I think of all the times I pushed you back
Now you feel like an outsider
I seriously need to repair what I've done to you.

It's not as simple as just saying "I am sorry" and that's OK.
How could I change effectively under the cover of apologies?

If you're not comfortable and safe here, there's something very wrong
I want to get rid of all my actions that threaten you
You experience fear in several ways
And I'm just another one tearing your self-esteem down.

No, you don't expect me to know how you feel
So let’s just start with the first step
If you're sick of composure and selfish rules reproaching you
You should know who’s responsible. It was never you.

I wish I could help you to unleash what's in your heart
But I only made you feel out of place
Please, don’t stay out of sight.
Track Name: Eclipse
You're hurt, I know.
But I can speak with authority about your pain
And decide what you should or shouldn't expose
So why do you open your mouth?
Your complaints must remain covered up
You're just trying to demoralize me
You're not a victim. What if someone gets me wrong?

You overreact to my harmless speech
Why do you do that? You're so thankless!
Everything was so perfect before you dared to counter me
Who the fuck do you think you are?

You were born only to please me
I'm very kind, don't try to fix me!
You can talk but I won't listen
I'm the only one who suffers in this place
So I show such disdain for your argument
This is my cowardly way to keep my position safe.
Track Name: Ghosts
We haven't let rancor go
Before we lock ourselves in this daydream
I'm trying to say what I need
But, damn, I seriously doubt my sincerity
We could turn this mess into something singular
Our present declares its will to resemble a painful past
That's devouring me once again
Just as I guessed
You give me more than I can take
And I justify my failure in silence
Punishing your ears
We know the shortcuts to hurt ourselves.

I don't know if you envision only misery
It seems like old nightmares are coming back even grimmer
We're stuck in a familiar disturbance
And I can't say a word
You terrify me
I'll never find out a way to break this curse.